Journey of Self: Freedom Found Within a Book

I have always been a firm believer in things happening for a reason; but I am becoming more aware of the reasons themselves. What a beautiful journey!! For instance, I received this book from a friend and I set it aside. There it has laid upon my nightstand with many of the other books, I’ll get around to reading… some day. And today, amongst waking with my emotions in a stir, I reached for it. As the dialogue began to unfold, page after page, the realization of this is “the moment” I was ready to read this came over me.

With trusting my journey like an eager child, I feel so refreshed. It’s the understanding of being where you are suppose to be- right now. It’s funny how mere words/insights into someone else’s journey, awakens your own spirit. It allowed me to reflect upon a dream I had a few weeks ago and even others over the past few months… with NEW eyes. Although I have without a doubt miles to go, as I waver between my self (ego) and my true self (spirit), I am learning of the reflection and mirror-like consequences of those that by chance, or rather by divine intervention, DESTINY really, have walked upon the same path as me.

Have you ever just met someone and “recognized” them? We (he and I) felt as if by some cosmic way, we have traveled before and our paths had crossed again, here and now. It was as if we had been reunited to share what we had experienced. What I struggle with the most, we collided before we were ready to “share”, truly share. For I believe our journeys, that particular inner calling which drives us, is not over. That is the hardest part for me to “let go!” Although that is in essence of the motions I did when I took a step back and ultimately we went in opposing directions. Maybe not so much opposing as no longer on the exact path anymore.

As I sway between not truly understanding how one day someone is in your life, and just like that… they are gone? How with each passing breath I take, a little of hope is dismantled and withers away, an agonizing slow death it is. But I suppose as I turn the page, the entire truth will reveal itself to me when I am ready for that message. In the meantime, I have learned how or what a huge burden, whether consciously or subconsciously I placed on him to heal me, is a “nugget” in of itself learned. Although I felt as if we recognized one another and how those very words were spoken to each other; we knew each other before, the plain truth, he can’t heal me. Only I can heal me.

This excerpt was one of many that struck a chord with me about this very notion of “healing” and brought me comfort in just understanding there is “light” on the other side of “pain” and if I were to be brutally honest, though I almost dread typing the very words…. I did the right thing. He did the right thing. And how magnificent the “healing” has been for me. I can’t speak for him, but something tells me, for him too!

“God lacks in nothing, but the experience of Healing creates such an ambrosial aroma, like incense, that even the gods wish to become saturated in such a fragrance!”… “Healing is not the result of pain, nay, but Healing is the reason for pain!.., If there were no brokenness, there would be no refining of the perfect flame!” ~ C. Joybell C.

So today I am grateful for this book and here is to mine and hopefully to all of your moments of “merachefet!”

~ ❤ & light ~

JourneyofSelf.jpg

Journey of Self

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